Safety - I live alone with no reliable support system

[Macintaka]

I'm 59 and live alone after caring for my wife in her dementia for 11 or so years. I have no in person friends, the rest being a few people online I'm friendly with but not close with. Although my mother lives in town, she is not the kind to provide the support I need. Neither is my brother, who lives across the state.

Having several mental and physical health issues that are concerning, and living in the depth of emotional distress I experience, I want to build a safety net in case something happens to me and I either die or become incapacitated in my home. As it is, I could lie dead or unable to summon help for many days before anyone noticed I hadn't texted in a while. It's a depressing thought. 

I also have animal companions that would need to be provided for if that happened! 

I need a plan and some kind of help implementing the plan. I need to know that someone will notice if I haven't checked in and that something will happen because they noticed. That, and creating a care plan for the animals, is what I primarily need.

I have so much I can't do because of my confusion and anxiety and grief and stress and all the rest that I'm in the long slow process of healing. My lack of ability to do basic things is terrible. In my confusion and anxiety, my ability to do my own research to figure out which service I see on a Google search might help me, which features I need, what others think of the service, etc. is next to zero. This is a couple years long process for me, because I can only do little bits here and there. This post is months in the making because of that.

I'm on disability (SSDI) and I use money from my wife's disability check to continue paying rent and bills. Although so much of it goes to her room and board and medical bills, that I have access to that money means I'm just over the edge financially and make too much for expanded services like Medicaid and other services that have been suggested to me. The people who helped me apply the last couple of times both told me I was "barely over" the financial bar, whatever that is.

After doing a LOT of searching over time, to find help for my daily life and in helping me manage my mental health and medical care, and seeing that there's nothing available for me, I am now limiting my quest to getting help in creating a safety plan for me and for my animals in dire need, as in death or incapacitation. 

I need someone to notice if I disappear, and I need flexibility in how I respond to however they contact me. In my current state, my confusion, anxiety, and who knows what-else, make my ability to reply in a specific timeframe difficult, so I need them to react in steps, not calling the cops if I haven't responded in 10 minutes like the one online service I tried out.  

Also, if there are any that provide any kind of attention to my animals that would be incredible. I'm slowly gathering all the information for them, which will be on my refrigerator, but who will look at it and do anything about it if I'm unable to communicate?

Anyway, any ideas would be great. If you have more than just suggesting a specific app I'd really appreciate it. I know there are apps out there, I need broader help than just that.

Thanks in advance!

[jonibee]

You need to join something be it your church or any organization that may interest you..Do you have any interest such a reading, perhaps join a bowling league that would put you in touch with others. Senior centers have groups that play cards/games/ or just meet daily...You need to talk about your estate planning with a lawyer as to what you would want to do for your pets and what plans you wish for your estate should you die...You have to go out and make your life as no one will do it for you..one step at a time..See what social activities are close to you perhaps you were a veteran so the VFW or American Legion would be a place to start ..join it..Are you a History buff as there's organizations that delve into history or your local library has programs ..Look into them..Some senior centers have a are you well and will check on you to confirm..Get involved in something a garden club ..Wishing you well and please accept my sympathy on the loss of your wife..Join a bereavement group as others have gone through similar occurences ..

[Macintaka]

Going out and joining and meeting and all that is not an option for me now. I'm autistic and at the very best of times it's astonishingly difficult to connect with others, and during this time of mental chaos and strife, it's not something I can do. As time passes, and hopefully the current intensity I'm experiencing does too, then I can make some moves in that direction. 

I can't afford a lawyer.

You say, "You have to go out and make your life as no one will do it for you"
I know you mean well, please don't take this as an attack. This kind of thing might work for some people, but "go get em champ" kind of messages are often wildly inappropriate, as it is for me in this situation. In the future, I'd encourage you ask more questions, and give fewer directives to "just do it."